“I want the fairy tale!” says Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman. And don’t we all, girls? Even though we know that Valentine’s Day is just a ploy for Clintons to sell cards, and Thorntons to shift chocolates, we want the bouquet of flowers and the candlelit dinner, the mini-break in Paris, and the Champagne on ice by the bed. If we really dare to dream, we might even imagine a proposal from someone who makes our heart flutter. Around six million women will get a rock on Valentine’s Day and WHY OH WHY SHOULDN’T IT BE US?!

But you know what? There’s something satisfying about buying yourself a box of chocolates, and eating all of them, along with an entire tub of ice-cream with added peanut butter. You couldn’t do that if you were in a restaurant wearing a bodycon dress. You’d look pregnant by the time the bill arrived and your heels would snap like breadsticks as soon as you stood up. 

So I say, embrace a night in wearing slipper socks and yoga pants – but don’t do it alone. Invite the girls round for a Valentine’s Day Bingo Party! Whether they’re single, or their boyfriends have been too rubbish to bother arranging anything, or they have a nice man but he’s busy working nights, invite them all - you’ll have a much better night with the girls anyway! 

Valentines Bingo - DRINKS MENU

  • Anything pink and fizzy, eg rose Cava, rose Prosecco, or rose Champagne if you’re feeling fancy! Or, if you’ve got white wine lying about, just add a touch of grenadine to turn it pink. Serve this in a Champagne glass.
  • Pink Gin & Prosecco cocktails: Make these with two parts Gordon’s pink gin, two parts lemonade & one part Prosecco. Serve these in wine glasses.
  • Pink Lady cocktail: There are loads of variations of this recipe but the simplest is one ounce of gin, half an ounce of grenadine (because, pink) and one and a half ounces of cream. Shake it up in a cocktail shaker, then for vintage glamour, serve it in a martini glass or a cocktail coupe.

DÉCOR

  • Fill the room with pink, heart-shaped helium balloons, and scatter rose petal confetti on every surface. Fill heart-shaped bowls with pink and red Lindor balls – and of course, heart-shaped chocolates.

PLAYLIST

  • The Weather Girls: It’s Raining Men
  • Beyonce: Run the World (Girls)
  • Chaka Khan: I’m Every Woman
  • Lady Gaga: Born This Way
  • Aretha Franklin: Respect
  • The Spice Girls: Wannabe
  • Cyndi Lauper: Girls Just Want to Have Fun

VALENTINE’S BINGO QUIZ

Before you can all play Bingo, you need to work out who’s going to take the first turn as bingo caller, aka Bridget Jones. So as party host and quiz mistress, make sure everyone’s got a drink in their hand, then read out the following lines - everyone else has to guess where the quote comes from. The person who gets the most right will have the first go at being Bridget.

Round One: Films

  1. “To me, you are perfect.” (Love Actually)
  2. “You had me at hello.” (Jerry Maguire)
  3. “Is it still raining? I hadn’t noticed.” (Four Weddings and a Funeral)
  4. “Most of all I’m scared of walking out of this room and never feeling the rest of my whole life, the way I feel when I’m with you!” (Dirty Dancing)
  5. “I like you very much, just as you are.” (Bridget Jones’s Diary)

Round Two: Songs

  1. “I ain’t bragging, cos I’m the one!” (Chaka Khan: I’m every woman)
  2. “Rejoice and love yourself today, cos baby you were born this way!” (Lady Gaga: Born this way)
  3. “When the working day is done, girls just wanna have fun!” (Cyndi Lauper: Girls just want to have fun)
  4. “R-E-S-P-E-C-T! Find out what it means to me!” (Aretha Franklin: Respect)
  5. “If you wanna be my lover, you’ve got to get with my friends, make it last for ever cos friendship never ends!” (Spice Girls: Wannabe)

Tie breaker: “God bless Mother Nature, she’s a single woman too, she took on the heavens, and she did what she had to do! She got every angel to rearrange the sky, so that each and every woman, could find the perfect guy!” (The Weather Girls: It’s Raining Men)

WHAT YOU’LL NEED FOR VALENTINE’S BINGO

  • A massive pair of Valentine’s style Bridget Jones knickers. I’m thinking, head to Primark and buy an enormous pair of pants covered in hearts.
  • A large box of heart-shaped doughnuts from Krispy Kreme.
  • Love Hearts – these are the sweets with messages like, “Be mine,” “Love me,” and “I’m yours.” We’ll be using these as markers for bingo, so buy a big bag from the supermarket, or pick some up in the newsagents.
  • Bingo bits: You can print off scorecards for free here. If you use these, you’ll need to write all the numbers on bits of paper (like a love note!) and pull them out of a red envelope (the sort a Valentine’s card might arrive in…)!

Otherwise, if you’ve got the money, and you don’t want to write the numbers on bits of paper, you can buy an all-you-need bingo starter kit here. Or, use one of our Bingo Games as a number generator. 

HOW TO PLAY VALENTINE’S BINGO

You’ve done the quiz, so now the winner should put on the Bridget Jones pants (on top of whatever she’s wearing!) and sit back with a heart-shaped Krispy Kreme, ready to pick the numbers and call them out. Everyone else should have:

  • A scorecard: this is made up of 25 squares, ie five rows of five squares.
  • Markers: ie the Love Hearts.

The Rules

Bridget Jones randomly picks a number out of the red envelope, or from the bingo spinner, and calls it out using one of the Valentine’s bingo calls (see below).

If Bridget picks out number 1 for example, she’ll shout, “Will my prince ever come? ONE!” The players then look to see if they have a 1 on their bingo card. If they do, they should put a Love Heart on top of the number.

The aim is to cover five squares in row, whether it’s vertical, horizontal or diagonal.

Note: There’ll usually be a blank square in the middle of the card – you can put a Love Heart on it without a number being called.

If you cover five squares in a row with Love Hearts, shout: “YOU HAD ME AT HELLO!” (instead of the usual Bingo!) To win, you need to shout it before anyone else does – and before Bridget Jones announces the next number.

The winner gets a heart-shaped Krispy Kreme. She should then put on the Bridget Jones pants, ready to call the numbers - and the previous Bridget sits down with a scorecard and a packet of Love Hearts, ready to play bingo. 

BESPOKE VALENTINE’S BINGO CALLS

These are your bespoke Valentine's bingo calls – you can make up the rest yourself!

1. Will my Prince Charming ever come? ONE!

2. Roses are red, violets are blue… TWO!

3. Is that bouquet for me? THREE!

4. I hope I get a card through the door! FOUR!

5. I’m not fussed about flowers, I can’t keep them alive! FIVE!

6. The most I get is saucy pics! SIX!

7. A box of chocolates to myself is heaven! SEVEN!

8. Where’s the postman - I can’t wait! EIGHT!

9. Just give me a chick flick and a bottle of wine! NINE!

10. It’s raining men: TEN!

11. Chocolates mashed up in Ben & Jerry’s is heaven! ELEVEN!

12. I’m on too many dating apps to ever be on the shelf! TWELVE!

13. He’d put a ring on it if he was keen! THIRTEEN!

14. I got flowers from the garage he’s so sodding mean! FOURTEEN!

15. A candle lit dinner would be the dream! FIFTEEN!

16. I want a man who’s handsome, tall and lean! SIXTEEN!

17. Who needs a boyfriend? Zac Efron make me cream! SEVENTEEN!

18. I’d like a weekend in Paris but he hasn’t a bean! EIGHTEEN!

19. I want a man who makes me scream! NINETEEN!

20. You’ll find a guy – go on Tinder, there’s plenty! TWENTY!

21. Sod Valentine’s Day – Galentine’s is more fun! TWENTY-ONE!

22. I bought myself chocolates and ate them all too! TWENTY-TWO!

23. I’ve had so much Prosecco I need a wee! TWENTY-THREE!

24. Love Actually’s on Channel 4! TWENTY-FOUR!

25. I’ve bought enough batteries for my Rabbit to come to alive! TWENTY-FIVE!

Samantha Rea is a freelance journalist living in London. She can be found tweeting here.